TIPS ON RAISING GODLY TEENAGERS, 3RD SERIES.

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Before I start with number 5, let me put this out there, that number 2 will determine no 5
And the reason is that they can’t talk when there is no relationship. Please kindly check out the previous series to understand this last point well.

5)LET THEM TALK: The truth is a lot of teenagers find it difficult to communicate with their parents because at this stage parent feel they are no longer a toddler, so parent don’t give them much attention like they use to do when they were much younger but it is this stage they need your attention the most, they talk a lot, Most time the discussion might be irrelevant let me give you some lines; mummy do you know Bolu has a boyfriend, she has kissed her boyfriend, she said kissing is sweet , her boyfriend bought something for her and they go on and on.
Please don’t stop them and don’t tell them you don’t know Bolu, see ma/sir you must know Bolu through their conversation, after the long narration you can advice them, chip in the word of God without condemning BOLU, PLEASE don’t condemn Bolu, just counsel your daughter and tell her what the word of God has said concerning immorality and even tell your child to keep praying for her so that God will touch her heart.

I know a lot of parent are wondering why I said don’t condemn, if you condemn her the moment your daughter is lured into having a boyfriend and her friends have cajoled her, she won’t open up to you cause she knows you will condemn her or even think you will kill her if you can condemn another person’s child.

And don’t stop them by saying why were you listening to Bolu, you should have left the class or close your ears, the truth is they might agree but the way they open up to you will be limited as from that day, they will only tell you the good side of the story or discussion and be keep the bad side to themselves, to be sincere whenever my mum send my younger sisters to me, I know I am in for long discussion.

  One of siblings walk up to me one day and started asking me about menstruation, that her teacher told her that once she start, she must not walk with boys or even stay close to her or else she will be pregnant, I told her that it was not really true and I shared my experience with her on how I was also told not to allow boys to come close to me or else I will be pregnant and I was much younger (in primary 4 or 5) then so I believed it and there was a day they brought a boy to sit beside me, I started crying profusely and my teacher walked to me and I asked why I was crying and I said I don’t want to be pregnant, then my classmate started laughing and they advised and begged me.
 
And my mentality changed completely,So I told her that talking to boy or sitting with a boy in class will not make you pregnant but allowing a boy to touch you anyhow 😉 or to have sex with you will lead to pregnancy, and she will like God forbid oooo😘 and we started talking, so if you lie to them to get them scared, their friend will tell them the truth and they won’t tell you anything again.

Teenagers are inquisitive, so don’t let them learn from an outsider, strangers or their friends, let them learn from you, call it sex, stop saying staying or talking to boys.

You won’t believe that the first time I saw a condom was when I was in year 1,(an undergraduate) and I saw it with my roommate, I thought it was a balloon, but I notice that my other roommate were running, but I was not running, so I asked her why they were running, they were like you don’t know that thing, I said was that not a balloon and they started laughing, they said I was a novice that what they holding was condom.

That the lady just blew it up to look like balloon, Please ma/sir let them talk to you, with you and don’t get tired of them, don’t say they talk too much, when you allow them to tell you everything, sometimes their plans  mistakenly slip out of their mouth unknown to you.

  At this stage the girls talk more than the boys, that why most of them end up having boyfriends cause that guy gives them undivided attention to get what they want, so give them your undivided attention to get words from them.
 
   Before I surrendered my life to Christ as a teenager, I was in a relationship and I can talk or chat for more than one hour and he won’t get tired, sometimes we both get to sleep around 12am or 1am saying things that are irrelevant and pointless but how many parent can create such time to let their teen’s talk to them.
  
Please let your child talk to you, it Is dangerous if there closest friend is an outsider, sometimes you can tell them to join you in the kitchen or in the bathroom while you are washing cloth so that you can gist together.

Ensure that you don’t just gist with them, it is at this point you practicalize the word of God, tell them about Joseph, Daniel etc, quote the scripture to them, tell them where to read everyday and share what they learn from it,
And ask them how it is affected them positively, because if you tell them to just the read the Bible, they might  be reading it like a storybook but if you chip it in when you both are discussing, it makes more sense except if your teen have the spirit of God and you are sure they have they allowed the spirit of God to control and direct them, then they won’t see the Bible as storybook.

I think at this point , we have realized that talking to your teenage daughter and sons brings them closer to you and you take them closer to God because their friend will begin to tell them that they should not tell their parent everything because they are big girls and boys. Big girls don’t act like mum’s girl, they keep things to themselves. Tell them that big girls share everything with big mummy😁.

Even as an adult, I tell my mum almost everything and sometimes I am like 😳 o God how did this things drop out of my mouth, but at the long run, I realize that mum advice me very well and this thing I got to know when I gave my life to Christ, I  don’t open up before, I use to say I won’t share my secret with my parent but I will share it with my friends or boyfriend.

Please note children are different from each other, so if you have a quiet teenager, you have to use another strategy or even if that child don’t like talking, always check up on them in their room, you can start with , do you have any gist for mum, you know mum like to hear your gist, so Racheal what happened in school, did you meet any new friend, was their any interesting thing in school/class today, please don’t neglect your teenager because of their nature, the truth is they will become a prey in the hands of a patient predator who will draw them out of their shell.

Yayy finally we are done with this series
I hope this series has blessed you in one way or the other.
In addition, let the holy Spirit continually guide on how to train your Teenagers.

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